FACES AND PLACES: Letter from Prague (04/13/97)

FACES AND PLACES

by Myron B. Kuropas

Letter from Prague

From March 19 through March 22 Lesia and I were in Prague attending the World Congress of Families.

The congress was sponsored by a number of international organizations committed to the preservation of the traditional family. The two principal organizers were Alan Carlson of the Rockford Institute, an organization with which I am associated as a member of its Main Street Committee, and Ivan Shevchenko, chairman of the Russian Orthodox Brotherhood of Scientists and Specialists in Russia.

Lesia and I represented the Ukrainian Catholic Eparchy of Chicago. Another Ukrainian present was a young man, Taras Andrusevych of Radio Resurrection in Lviv.

The congress provided good news and bad news. Citing research data provided by sociologist the Rev. Andrew Greeley, Rabbi Jacob Neusner concluded that in the United States, at least, marriage as an institution is flourishing. Marriage remains the relationship of choice for most Americans; three-fifths of married people are happy and three-fourths believe their spouse is their best friend.

At the same time, however, the United States is plagued by a growing number of children who live in fatherless homes or whose parents are undergoing divorce. According to Prof. (David) Popenoe of Rutgers University, the number of children living apart from biological fathers more than doubled between 1960 and 1990, from 17 percent to 36 percent. Contrary to the diatribes of radical feminists who continue to argue that fathers are unessential in the home, all of the current evidence overwhelmingly points to one conclusion: on the whole, two parents, a father and a mother, are better for a child than one parent. "There are exceptions, of course, but they don't invalidate the rule any more than some three-pack-a-day smokers living to a ripe old age casts doubts on the dangers of smoking."

A similar view of fatherhood was presented by Norman Dennis, guest fellow at the department of religious studies, University of Newcastle upon Tyne, and author of "Families Without Fatherhood." During the 1960s, he pointed out, sex became de-sanctified. Sex outside of marriage was approved, making it little more than a leisure-time activity. The socialization of boys into fathers was largely abandoned, allowing some men to remain permanent adolescents.

Kevin and Margaret Andrews mentioned the 1960s as a time when the family began to be defined as confining, especially for women, and "destructive" of the individual. "Rights" became more important than "obligations" in a relationship. Marriage, they emphasized, is a not a static state of being. Communication is essential in marriage as is reinforcement. "Marriage is a work in progress."

According to Dr. Gerard Casey of University College, Dublin, enemies of the family never attack it frontally. They retain the term "family," but change its meaning. Emphasis on rights over obligations is the result of the self-esteem movement, which is basically meaningless. "If everyone is somebody, no one is anybody," he said.

"Whoever wants to change society must first change the family," declared Dr. Thomas Molnar of the University of Budapest. Family relationships in the West are changing as a result of social engineering and economic manipulation. In Germany and Sweden, children can now sue parents.

There were reports on the status of the family from various national representatives. Francisco S. Tadad, majority leader of the Phillipine Congress, reported on the situation in the Phillipines where the laity, in league with priests and bishops, led the fight against the legalization of divorce. The Phillipine Constitution, he pointed out, still defines marriage as inviolable.

In Russia, however, the situation is very different. Dr. Viktor Medkov, chairman of the department of sociology at the Moscow Lomonosov State University, stated that there is a significant decrease in the number of marriages in the past 50 years; the divorce rate is up to 50 percent; the average marriage lasts 10 years. Life expectancy in Russia is declining along with the population. Between 1992 and 1997 Russia's population decreased by 2 million as 3.5 people died for every one person born. The drop would have been greater had it not been for the large migration of Russians from other former Soviet republics. On the positive side, the number of abortions decreased from 3,244,000 in 1993 to 2,766,000 in 1995. Despite the decline, Russia still has one of the highest abortion rates in the world.

Family decline seems to be a worldwide phenomenon. In Australia, for example, the modern welfare state has systematically discouraged married couples from raising children while offering generous benefits to female-headed households. In Sweden, the state has eliminated marriage as a meaningful social and legal institution. Almost 60 percent of new births are outside of marriage, while nearly two-thirds of Stockholm residents now live alone, making it the world's first "post-family" society.

There was some discussion of same-sex marriages, which are approved in Hawaii (but invalid in other states thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act) and on the way to approval in Sweden, Hungary and Finland. It was suggested that part of the reason was the growing need of some alienated children of divorced parents to seek "variety" in their intimate human relations.

Pavel Rican, a professor of psychology at the Czech Academy of Sciences, reminded participants of the fact that the family is the cradle of morality. All relationships in life are determined by the first years of life. Dr. Richard Whitfield, chairman of the National Family Trust in England, emphasized that children are a divine gift. Morality is not so much intellectual as emotional. When trust and basic hope are not formed during the early years, there is lifelong despair. Not being certain about parental love can be devastating; if children feel unloved, moral growth is impossible.

For Lesia and me, the youth panel was the most inspiring aspect of the congress because it included young people from eight different nations affirming their commitment to traditional family life. The congress concluded with a series of resolutions aimed at reversing familial decline.

Does any of this impact Ukrainians? Absolutely. We live in the United States and experience the demoralizing influences around us. At the same time Ukrainians in Ukraine are experiencing the same type of familial dysfunctions as those being experienced in Russia. Can we do anything about this? You tell me.

Myron Kuropas' e-mail address is: 73753.3315@compuserve.com

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