The church coffee room – that democratic, egalitarian forum where all the world’s great problems are solved – is filled with long tables and metal folding chairs. At one end, weary volunteers preside over a table spread with plates of sandwiches and donuts, a coffee urn, and a tray full of dollar bills and coins. Parishioners who have just come down from the liturgy are milling about, looking for friends to sit with. In one corner, two men and three women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 70s, are settling in around Bohdan, who is already seated, sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup and peering at the screen of his cellphone.
“At this rate,” he says, “half of Congress will have to resign. And that might be a good thing.”
“Ah, the sexual harassment scandals,” observes Vasyl, sitting down. “At least we don’t have that in Ukraine.”
“Not yet,” says Lida, joining them. “Maybe the concept doesn’t exist. But from what I’ve heard, the phenomenon certainly does.”
“What?” says Vasyl in mock surprise. “Sexism in Ukraine?”
“We idealize traditional village life,” points out Lada, taking the chair opposite him, “but we know, for example, that wife-beating was common.”
“I thought it was the women who beat the men,” replies Vasyl. “They pioneered equality.”
“Ha-ha.”
“That’s an old wives’ tale,” interrupts Bohdan. “Sorry about the sexist phrase…”
“The thing is,” pursues Lada, “you can’t have equality without the right social atmosphere. Ukrainians are still preoccupied with money. The oligarchs figure they can buy anything they want.”
“Unfortunately, they’re right,” ventures Ihor, sitting down next to her.
“I’m sure that accusations of sexual harassment will just be another way to get rid of political rivals. Like here,” comments Bohdan. “All it takes nowadays is ‘credible allegations.’ That’s not enough to convict someone, but it’s enough to ruin a career.”
“If you’ve got credible allegations by a dozen women, the guy’s probably guilty,” objects Lada.
“Sure, that would have satisfied Joe McCarthy,” grumbles Bohdan. “Better to punish an innocent man than let a guilty one go, right? So much for the presumption of innocence.”
“Now wait a minute,” interjects Vasyl, sensing an approaching argument. “The fact is, that kind of behavior was typical of our generation. I’m not saying everyone behaved that way, but a lot of us did.”
“So you’re justifying it by saying it was acceptable at the time?” bristles Lida. “Do ethics vary from generation to generation? Isn’t that moral relativism?”
“I’m just saying it was tolerated. Look at some of our modern presidents. Where was the outrage then? None of them was impeached. Could it be because they were Democrats?”
“I don’t think that kind of harassment was acceptable, not even back in the ‘50s,” comments Ihor. “I sure wasn’t brought up that way. We were supposed to be gentlemen.”
“That ‘gentleman’ thing is just a sexist façade,” objects Lida. “It’s an excuse for unequal treatment. So condescending. Why not treat women the same as you treat each other?”
Ihor rolls his eyes. “Because women are different from men. Being different doesn’t mean being inferior. We weren’t brought up to look down on women – actually, it was the opposite. Guys who behaved like our president were considered jerks. Of course, it was usually the jerks who succeeded in business and politics. You know, the aggressive, high-testosterone rule-breakers. And they were admired.”
Vasyl clears his throat. “Lida has a point. Even if we were supposed to treat women with respect, we looked at them as sex objects. That was part of the culture. It was everywhere – in movies, TV, advertising… And then there’s the pornography industry. It did a lot of damage to the institution of marriage.”
“And then came the sixties, and the sexual revolution,” adds Bohdan. “It lowered the standards. It loosened the restraints. The people who are complaining about the president’s behavior now are the same ones who supported the sexual revolution then. But that’s what made that kind of behavior acceptable in the first place.”
“Well, feminism has cured that, hasn’t it?” asks Vasyl, turning to Lida and Lada. “I mean, feminism is our punishment for not being gentlemen.”
“Yeah,” laughs Lada, “you got your just desserts. Now we can be just as offensive as you.”
“But if that were true,” says Lida, “you’d have men accusing women of sexual harassment.”
“That’s coming,” responds Ihor. “It hasn’t happened much because it isn’t often that the woman is in a superior managerial position. But I’m sure there’s a case brewing somewhere.”
“So it’s only harassment if there’s an abuse of power? What if it’s between equals?”
“If it’s unwanted or unwelcome, it’s still harassment,” rejoins Lada.
“But how can a guy tell?”
Lada gives Ihor a cold stare.
“I think we’re going to see a lot of lawsuits,” remarks Lida. “But I’m worried about the judges. Some of the recent appointments are pretty questionable.”
“Not everything goes to court,” points out Vasyl. “Congress has spent lots of our money settling harassment claims.”
“The administrative remedies aren’t very fair or transparent,” argues Bohdan. “But I don’t think a court of law is the best place to deal with this either. For example, it’s very hard to prove the absence of consent. And that’s a key issue.”
“So bad behavior is bad only when it’s not consensual?” asks Ihor.
“Of course,” replies Lida. “There’s no such thing as a bad act – only a harmful act.”
“I disagree,” says Bohdan. “But the question is, what can we do about it? Legislation, regulation, litigation?”
Sophia, who has been listening quietly, speaks up. “I think we have to change the culture. Not just the way men look at women, but the way we all look at sex – its meaning, its purpose.”
There is a thoughtful silence. And then, having resolved the issue of the week, they all finish their coffee and go their separate ways.